Volripcen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, impressive gerbil.

Volripcen created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volripcen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Volripcen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Volripcen's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Volripcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not kill geese.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

5. Always wear turquoise.