Cumfarbifcadhigkarspagmeg Batbotwee is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, astonishing pig.

Cumfarbifcadhigkarspagmeg Batbotwee created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumfarbifcadhigkarspagmeg Batbotwee, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cumfarbifcadhigkarspagmeg Batbotwee, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Cumfarbifcadhigkarspagmeg Batbotwee's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Cumfarbifcadhigkarspagmeg Batbotwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never hurt birds.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.