Stiksabteen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, humorless turtle.

Stiksabteen created life eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stiksabteen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stiksabteen, he will turn you into a tree.

Stiksabteen's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Stiksabteen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never wear turquoise scarves.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stiksabteen.