Parkbadtetti is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, clever eagle.

Parkbadtetti created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkbadtetti, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Parkbadtetti, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Parkbadtetti's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Parkbadtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must love Parkbadtetti.

3. Never hurt foxes.

4. Never wear mauve jumpers.

5. Run away from fawn mites, for they are unholy.