Bagladget is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, stupid lizard.

Bagladget created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Bagladget, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bagladget, it will turn you into a slug.

Bagladget's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bagladget's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bagladget.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never feed tomatoes to snails while wearing turquoise rings.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bagladget.