Arfdussquag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, stupid beaver.

Arfdussquag created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfdussquag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Arfdussquag, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Arfdussquag's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Arfdussquag's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.