Fighubjap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent cow.

Fighubjap created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Fighubjap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fighubjap, it will turn you into a frog.

Fighubjap's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fighubjap's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never hurt nematodes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help sick cats.