Kemquammin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awe-inspiring badger.

Kemquammin created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemquammin, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kemquammin, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Kemquammin's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Kemquammin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not hurt pigs.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Do not commit murder.