Watkonnell is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm walrus.

Watkonnell created a bottom quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watkonnell, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Watkonnell, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Watkonnell's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Watkonnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs white.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not bounce in public.