Sitbarnsterflap is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, kind ant.

Sitbarnsterflap created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Sitbarnsterflap, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sitbarnsterflap, it will be very unhappy.

Sitbarnsterflap's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Sitbarnsterflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away if three geese approach from the east.

5. Sitbarnsterflap loves moths, so they must be respected.