Fatsawpig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless mouse.

Fatsawpig created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Fatsawpig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fatsawpig, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fatsawpig's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Fatsawpig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help sick otters.
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