Hunstipsog is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, ruthless penguin.

Hunstipsog created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hunstipsog, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hunstipsog, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hunstipsog's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hunstipsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never mention badgers.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.