Canloptar is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, contented goat.

Canloptar created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Canloptar, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Canloptar, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Canloptar's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Canloptar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Canloptar must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Do not take Canloptar's name in vain.