Stragpigdap Bedtifquill is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish hamster.

Stragpigdap Bedtifquill created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Stragpigdap Bedtifquill, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Stragpigdap Bedtifquill, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Stragpigdap Bedtifquill's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Stragpigdap Bedtifquill's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Stragpigdap Bedtifquill.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stragpigdap Bedtifquill.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not take Stragpigdap Bedtifquill's name in vain.

5. Never eat green fruit.