Larnrawbadnelyiktonkfat is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, boastful gerbil.

Larnrawbadnelyiktonkfat created the solar system six million years ago.

If you believe in Larnrawbadnelyiktonkfat, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Larnrawbadnelyiktonkfat, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Larnrawbadnelyiktonkfat's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Larnrawbadnelyiktonkfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.