Fidwabhim Tanpigfet is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, strong crab.

Fidwabhim Tanpigfet created Mount Everest four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidwabhim Tanpigfet, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fidwabhim Tanpigfet, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fidwabhim Tanpigfet's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fidwabhim Tanpigfet's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat strawberries.

2. Always help grasshopers in need.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not covet oxen.