Gomyattgovtetticempagbod Vidpascan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain gerbil.

Gomyattgovtetticempagbod Vidpascan created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomyattgovtetticempagbod Vidpascan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gomyattgovtetticempagbod Vidpascan, he will turn you into a slug.

Gomyattgovtetticempagbod Vidpascan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gomyattgovtetticempagbod Vidpascan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gomyattgovtetticempagbod Vidpascan's name in vain.

2. Always treat shrews with great respect.

3. Never run near capybaras.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not listen to music.