Vidbancam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid goose.

Vidbancam created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Vidbancam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vidbancam, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vidbancam's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Vidbancam's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vidbancam first in all things.

2. Do not kill aardvarks.

3. Do not eat pineapples.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.