Teenrilsom is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, loving cat.

Teenrilsom created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenrilsom, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Teenrilsom, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Teenrilsom's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Teenrilsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Put Teenrilsom first in all things.

5. Fast once a month.