Jonnillik Safnarlbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, fast elephant.

Jonnillik Safnarlbaf created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Jonnillik Safnarlbaf, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jonnillik Safnarlbaf, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jonnillik Safnarlbaf's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Jonnillik Safnarlbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles in need.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always look after injured capybaras.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always take life seriously.