Yogtonkmab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind fish.

Yogtonkmab created the Tadpole Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yogtonkmab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yogtonkmab, she will turn you into a worm.

Yogtonkmab's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Yogtonkmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near porpoises.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Yogtonkmab on top of all buildings.

3. Never paint your arms white.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yogtonkmab.

5. Never play with disobedient children.