Fligfarnnurt is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, all-powerful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fligfarnnurt created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fligfarnnurt, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fligfarnnurt, she will turn you into a rat.

Fligfarnnurt's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Fligfarnnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about tapirs.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never laugh in holy places.