Gonjinlib is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unsympathetic aardvark.

Gonjinlib created humanity two years ago.

If you believe in Gonjinlib, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gonjinlib, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gonjinlib's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gonjinlib's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.