Vagflabtetti is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, moody dugong.

Vagflabtetti created the Milkyway eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagflabtetti, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vagflabtetti, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vagflabtetti's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Vagflabtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Vagflabtetti.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never think ill of sick moths.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.