Linsterzen is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, deceitful badger.

Linsterzen created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linsterzen, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Linsterzen, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Linsterzen's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Linsterzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about strawberries.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Worship no other gods but Linsterzen.

5. Retreat if eight tapirs approach from the west.