Tiplarn Sogfumbut Nullfoncam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid swallow.

Tiplarn Sogfumbut Nullfoncam created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiplarn Sogfumbut Nullfoncam, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tiplarn Sogfumbut Nullfoncam, it will destroy your home solar system.

Tiplarn Sogfumbut Nullfoncam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tiplarn Sogfumbut Nullfoncam's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tiplarn Sogfumbut Nullfoncam first in all things.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Cats are not to be trusted.