Quartmatsag is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ruthless porpoise.

Quartmatsag created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Quartmatsag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quartmatsag, she will destroy your home solar system.

Quartmatsag's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Quartmatsag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven porpoises approach from the west.

2. Never run in the presence of mice.

3. Feed all hungry geese.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat melons.