Mumzenkim is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent guinea pig.

Mumzenkim created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumzenkim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mumzenkim, he will turn you into a sheep.

Mumzenkim's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Mumzenkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Erect five nickel sculptures of Mumzenkim on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never eat bark.