Homcubtab is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, impressive tapir.

Homcubtab created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Homcubtab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Homcubtab, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Homcubtab's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Homcubtab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Feed all hungry ducks.

3. Run away if eight foxes approach from the south.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.