Catyarfub is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awe-inspiring manatee.

Catyarfub created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catyarfub, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Catyarfub, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Catyarfub's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Catyarfub's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Never skip in the presence of geese.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Catyarfub.

4. Never bounce near ducks.

5. Put Catyarfub first in all things.