Bedxemfon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless fly.

Bedxemfon created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bedxemfon, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bedxemfon, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bedxemfon's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bedxemfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention otters.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Always help sick eagles.

5. Never sing near dogs.