Vagdutrap is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever alligator.

Vagdutrap created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagdutrap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vagdutrap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Vagdutrap's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vagdutrap's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never paint your feet white.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vagdutrap.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Run away if four mites approach from the west.