Tof is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unjust gorilla.

Tof created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Tof, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tof, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tof's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Tof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tof.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always stare at clouds.