Yikbogcan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, deceitful aardvark.

Yikbogcan created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yikbogcan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yikbogcan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yikbogcan's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yikbogcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yikbogcan.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not take Yikbogcan's name in vain.