Bifjenfod is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent meerkat.

Bifjenfod created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Bifjenfod, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bifjenfod, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bifjenfod's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bifjenfod's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bifjenfod.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bifjenfod.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Do not drink alcohol.