Mifyaklapflap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic tortoise.

Mifyaklapflap created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Mifyaklapflap, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mifyaklapflap, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Mifyaklapflap's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Mifyaklapflap's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry goats.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never talk about aardvarks.

4. Hide from fawn dolphins for they are unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.