Hammetbest is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, sage meerkat.

Hammetbest created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Hammetbest, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hammetbest, she will turn you into a duck.

Hammetbest's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hammetbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not take Hammetbest's name in vain.

5. Do not speak about aubergines.