Omtstansak is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty dugong.

Omtstansak created the Sombrero Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtstansak, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Omtstansak, it will send you a sign.

Omtstansak's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Omtstansak's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Omtstansak.

2. Hide from blue voles for they are unholy.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Put Omtstansak first in all things.