Tabpadtag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing unicorn.

Tabpadtag created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabpadtag, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tabpadtag, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tabpadtag's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tabpadtag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Hide from purple moths for they are unholy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

5. Never paint your neck cyan.