Flypasmis is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, happy jackal.

Flypasmis created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Flypasmis, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flypasmis, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Flypasmis' most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Flypasmis' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flypasmis five times a day.

2. Never eat aubergines.

3. Never paint your back mauve.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.