Nurlcimkap is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest coyote.

Nurlcimkap created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlcimkap, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nurlcimkap, he will strike you with lightening.

Nurlcimkap's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nurlcimkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Hide if seven ants approach from the north.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never play with disobedient children.