Flowcethitbat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, stupid butterfly.

Flowcethitbat created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowcethitbat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flowcethitbat, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Flowcethitbat's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Flowcethitbat's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

5. Flowcethitbat loves horses, so they must be honoured.