Tifkabgut is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, amazing wombat.

Tifkabgut created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifkabgut, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tifkabgut, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tifkabgut's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tifkabgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Tifkabgut loves foxes, so they must be respected.

5. Never eat green fruit.