Zennurlced is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish manatee.

Zennurlced created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zennurlced, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zennurlced, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zennurlced's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Zennurlced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always wear red.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not kill tortoises.

5. Always obey Zennurlced's priests.
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