Volcitfom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, sage spider.

Volcitfom created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volcitfom, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Volcitfom, she will not invite you to parties.

Volcitfom's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Volcitfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. You must pray to Volcitfom six times a day.