Hakhungub is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, almighty spider.

Hakhungub created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakhungub, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hakhungub, he will turn you into a hamster.

Hakhungub's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hakhungub's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hakhungub.

2. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

3. Always wear white.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never feed strawberries to badgers while wearing orange kilts.