Yattrilwon is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, staggering camel.

Yattrilwon created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattrilwon, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yattrilwon, it will laugh at you.

Yattrilwon's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yattrilwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never hurt eagles.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Do not shave your neck.