Weeafkin is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, stupid dragon.

Weeafkin created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Weeafkin, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Weeafkin, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Weeafkin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Weeafkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near pigs.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.