Kembag is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless wyrm.

Kembag created everything that exists five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kembag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kembag, he will send you a sign.

Kembag's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Kembag's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kembag.

2. Hide if nine seals approach from the west.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kembag.