Kemingarm is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, sapient gerbil.

Kemingarm created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemingarm, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kemingarm, she will ignore you.

Kemingarm's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kemingarm's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise foxes, for they are unholy.

2. Always help whales in need.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Do not make images of living things.